Abaci, there are more than one.
No… there is only the grand abacus.
Held by the grand poobah himself:
He created the grand abacus and gave it to some tiny asians:
to protect it from the Great Evil:
Ben Oit. Ben Oit got drunk one day and mistook his family for the small asians defending the abacus so he gave them the tap tap tapparoo, except they forgot to tap. But the damned media cannot report stories like that.